Frequently Asked Questions

Do I have to be Lutheran to use your services?
No! While our agency's heritage is rooted in the Lutheran Church, Lutheran Social Service has always served all people, regardless of religious affiliation. Our mission, "to express the love of Christ for all people through acts of service," is based upon our Lutheran philosophy.

How can Lutheran Social Service help me?
LSS provides counseling at no cost to individuals or couples facing unplanned pregnancies during and after the pregnancy. A pregnancy counselor meets one-on-one with you to assist with decision-making, parenting resources, adoption planning if requested, and grief counseling. We want to help you prepare for all of the decisions and feelings ahead. Your counselor can give you accurate information about all of your options. LSS can also put you in contact with others who share an experience similar to yours.

What if I decide to raise my child?
Your counselor will meet with you to give you to discuss all the options you are considering. If you decide parenting is best for you and your baby, your counselor can help you find resources for housing, education, financial assistance, and parenting skills, depending on your needs.

What is open adoption?
Open adoption occurs when the expectant parents, or "birth parents," select and then work with the adoptive parents to plan their child's adoption. The relationship continues after the child is placed in the adoptive home. Contact may include letters, pictures, phone calls and get-togethers. Open adoptions are not all the same and depend on the individual wishes of birth parents and adoptive parents.

Open adoption offers lifelong benefits. Children grow up without secrets, in touch with their roots and fully aware of the love that their birthparent(s) put into their adoption plan. Birth parents remain involved in their child's life while moving on with their own lives. Adoptive parents enter parenthood with a better understanding of who their child is and where they can go for more information.

Why do birth parents choose open adoption?
Birth parents care deeply for their child. They want to provide a home with stability as well as love. Many desire a two-parent family. Others want more opportunities available to their child. Birth parents who choose adoption often have personal goals as well. They base their decision on what is best for themselves and their baby.

What happens if I decide to place my baby in an open adoption?
Birth parents are free to choose one of the many recommended families seeking to adopt through LSS. If you want to meet with the adoptive parents, your counselor will also attend the meeting to help facilitate the conversation. You may involve the adoptive parents in your hospital stay and ask them to take the baby home afterward. Your counselor will help you create an agreement that defines your plan for on-going contact with the child and adoptive family. This agreement may be made legal. LSS also serves birth parents who choose an adoptive family from outside LSS. LSS offers ongoing counseling for as long as necessary to help birth parents with the loss related to adoption.

Are all open adoptions the same?
No. Each adoption is tailored for those who are involved in the process. Birth parents can decide on a level of openness or ongoing contact that suits their individual style. There is a wide variety in the types of adoptions that families agree to arrange. LSS honors wishes for confidentiality.

What roles are available to birth fathers in adoption planning?
Birth fathers are encouraged to be actively involved planning the adoption, and in the ongoing relationship of an open adoption. A counselor can also meet and work with birth fathers separately, or together with the birth mother.

Can I change my mind?
You may come to learn more about adoption and decide it's not right for you. Adoption laws offer a time period for birth parents to change their minds before their decision becomes irrevocable. This time period ranges from days to weeks, depending on the particular adoption. If you need more time to make your decision, LSS has caring and knowledgeable families available to provide short-term care for your baby.

How do I know the adoptive parents will be good parents?
The adoption study process screens families before recommending them. They are assigned a social worker who meets with them in their home and at LSS. Families attend workshops designed for adoptive parents. LSS requires three favorable references and clear criminal background checks.

Can I still choose to make an adoption plan for my child if parenting doesn’t work out?
Yes, if you choose to parent and find it isn’t working out like you had hoped, to be just too much to handle, adoption is still an option for you and your child. It takes a lot of love for your child and courage to come to the realization that you may not be able to provide for all that your child needs. It can be very difficult to place a child for adoption that you have parented and bonded with. But your Pregnancy and Birth Parent Services Worker will be with you every step of the way to make the transition as easy as possible for both you and your child.

If I decide to parent my child is there anyone who can help me get the baby items I will need to get started?
Yes, there are many churches and community agencies that will be able to provide you with some of the baby items you will need to begin parenting. Your Pregnancy and Birth Parent Services Worker will be able to connect you to parenting classes and other resources to get you on track to being the best possible parent for your child.

Can a relative or friend adopt my baby?
Definitely, these types of adoption are referred to as Relative or Designated Adoptions. In most cases the adoptive family you choose will have to obtain an adoption study through a licensed child-placing agency. You as a birth parent(s) have the right to choose the family that will be right for your baby and that family may be someone you already know.

Does my baby have to go into foster care before it is placed into an adoptive home?
No, foster care is an option that may be used if you need additional time to think about whether adoption is right for you and your baby, or while you decide on the “right” adoptive family for your child.